Exploratory Essay Comments

In class we had to comment on each others exploratory essays. I received some very good feedback from my group members. The first thing they noticed as a whole was that I need to state the theme I am connecting earlier in the paper. I waited until about half way through the paper to start to connect the sources together. Meredith suggested to add more questions, add quotes in certain places, which I will definitely do. Lynnsey saw some issues with clarity through out which I will also go back and fix. Josh also pointed out some of the clarity mistakes I made which were very helpful. One of the things I noticed was how different all of our papers were approached. I don't think any of us have had an assignment quite like this before so everyone was on a learning curve. I'm glad we had this session and I wish we could do I for every class!

Exploratory Essay Rough Draft

            Ever since the birth of this wonderful nation, a presiding issue has been education. Education is one of the most important aspects of our thriving society, but the system needs to be updated and refined. How can we maximize results and prepare our future generation for the larger world they are entering. With globalization and faster transportation, people from all over the world are interacting more with each other then ever before. We as a nation are behind in our educational values from many other nations and we need to catch up. Some professionals and organizations have already started thinking about and analyzing this issue.

            A global conference called TED is held at various locations around the world. TED is a nonprofit devoted to ideas worth spreading. It started out in 1984 as a conference bringing together people from three worlds: Technology, Entertainment, Design. The speakers at these conferences are experts in their fields and bring excellent ideas to the table. On man at the 2006 Monterey, California convention has been studying educational practices almost all his life. Sir Ken Robinson makes his case focusing on the arts. In his talk, he explains that not every student learns the same or enjoys the same subjects. He speaks mainly of the arts and how children need them in addition to the core subjects to develop the mind. “Creativity today is just as important as literacy” (Sir Ken Robinson). Creativity is a necessity to child development. If children don’t know the answer to something they will still have a go at it and will probably come up with something original if they are wrong. It is better to come up with something rather then nothing at all (Sir Ken Robinson).

            What solution does Sir Ken Robinson suggest? He claims to rethink intelligence and the current fundamental principles on which were educating our children by adding more emphasis in the arts for an uncertain future. The educational system America has now was created to meet the needs of industrialism, which was 100 years ago (Sir Ken Robinson). The world has changed now and people who couldn’t be artists or musicians in the industrial era have more opportunity for that type of career today.

            Another change in society Sir Robinson mentions is the issue of academic inflation. Jobs that used to require a BA now require an MA or PHD. “To many kids these days are coming home after getting a degree and carry on playing video games because they can’t get a job” (Sir Ken Robinson). He talks of how the minds of children today are strip mined for a certain commodity rather then searching for other resources the particular child’s mind might have. Starting with kindergarten, the system prepares and aims children for university acceptance. Knowing this the question “should every child go to a university?” pops up.

            A study conducted by Earl Shorris would suggest that every person has the ability to go to college. His study consisted of teaching the humanities on hand picked extremely poor individuals in the Bronx. He stated that “The humanities are a foundation for getting along in the world, for thinking, for learning to reflect on the world instead of just reacting to whatever force is turned against you” (Shorris, Earl). He paid for everything including subway and food fare as long as they came to class and worked harder then they ever have before. All of the teachers were accomplished in their fields of philosophy, poetry, art history, logic, rhetoric, and American history. All of these subjects I think Sir Ken Robinson would agree are important to education as a whole and the development of the mind. When kids don’t receive these humanities as children, they have a lot of catching up to do when they get to be adults. He finished the course with tremendous results. “A year after graduation ten of the first sixteen were attending 4 year colleges or nursing school; four of them had received full scholarships to Bards College. One of the students was fired from her job for trying to start a union” (Shorris, Earl). Earl Shorris proved his idea of the humanities and would like to implement them on a larger scale once he receives the funding.

            Another woman did the same type of study, but with students that are already in school. Jean Anyon author of Social Class and the Hidden Curriculum of Work selected schools in areas with distinct demographics in the economy levels of the families. She separated the schools into 4 classes: working class, middle-class, affluent professional, and executive elite. She found major differences in the styles of teaching from demographic to demographic. The school that had the most common traits of Sir Ken Robinson and Earl Shorris’s ideal school system would be the executive elite schools. In their system they focus on Shorris’s humanities and leadership. The students basically have free reign over the classroom and the teacher is there to keep order. The students are pushed to answer questions on their own through reasoning. The lower working class schools are very different. The working class schools focus more on the ability of the student to follow steps and directions. It is repeat, start over, and then repeat again when it comes to math, history, english, pretty much every subject. She found it shocking how different the schools educational systems were “Not so much in resources as in teaching methods and philosophies of education” (Anyon, Jean). When you look at these teaching styles you can definitely see a correlation to which type of jobs the students go into.

            Sir Ken Robinson says we should focus on creativity and the arts. Earl Shorris says we should focus on the humanities. Jean Anyon researches the actual act of education in children and how the educational system works. Sir Ken Robinson, Earl Shorris and Jean Anyon have the same ideas of education but came to their conclutions in different ways. Their focus is on problem solving and creativity for the future generation. People in today’s world have to be adaptive to the rapidly changing world. Globalization is changing the way we think and the way we have to learn. 

On the Uses of a Liberal Education Reading Response

In the reading selection, a man is conduction an experiment with his wife on elitism and the humanities. The humanities are the liberal classes we are taught in school (philosophy, poetry, art history, logic, rhetoric and American history). He wants to take a sample of carefully selected poor people and put them in a series of rigorous courses. He explains how he thinks the elite and middle class are born with a certain privilege, of the humanities that the poor class are never introduced to. Using private donations and some of his own money he conducts this experiment with positive results. 14 of the 16 who stayed in the course are now in college. 1 was fired from her fast food union for trying to start a union.

The experimenter did a very good job. He used a well selected group of people to conduct his research. He also tested over a long period of time to ensure the best results. He used direct dialogs and filmed each class session to document even further. The dialog as the excerpt went on seemed to improve with the course. Having the different sections cut out made me feel a little confused and made it choppy.

I agree with the authors studies, but the amount of money and time spent is not going to happen in real life to everyone. As he said in the middle of the article, some of the people he interviewed were just to poor and helpless. I agree that middle and upper class students definitely have an upper hand in life to poor children ever since birth. You can definitely see that in todays society, especially in college.

"You want a certain kind of life, a richness of mind and spirit."

This is what the whole article was about. Teaching the humanities to the less privileged. Hoping to push the limits of a set society, and to show that work pays off. A richness in mind is referring to logic and analytical skills. Spirit is having a positive attitude towards life and to increase self esteem. These are the two basic qualifications to success in todays world. To have a positive mind and to have knowledge and education.      

Class Discussion 2/11/13

One of the things I would like to expand on from our discussion is when we were talking about scholarships. When I was applying for college I did not apply for one scholarship. This is not because I was lazy. I did not apply because I know my parents are better off than other families. I know my parents can afford my college with out scholarships. There are other students in the world who could definitely use the scholarship money and I would not want to take that opportunity away from them. I also think that the private scholarships do a very good job selecting who gets the scholarship based on the deductions they make. Most of the scholarships I have seen my friends apply for, they had to write a paper based on either why they think they should receive the money or another though provoking prompt. Federal money on the other hand, I think is exploited and needs to be modified. Not every one in this country should go to college, and their are some kids who deserve college more then anyone else but don't receive the amount of help needed. To receive federal money you should be able to show that you can work hard. To many people who don't really need the money receive it and then don't take college seriously and end up flunking out. These are just my opinions and what I saw in our long debate/discussion.  

"Woman without Class" Reading Response

I was assigned pages 77-83. In this section it talks about the vocational career path that discriminates students in school systems. Advisors will look at the students and put them into whatever path they see fit. Once in the vocational path, students get so far behind and are unable to catchup if they decide to choose a different path. Most of the women on this path will receive low paying clerical or retail jobs. In this section the author also describes the differences in the junior college track and the 4 year university track. The 4 year university track is definitely the hardest and requires lots of work. In the JC track, you have to work but you can also slack off a little bit too. In the vocational track students only go to class when it is convenient, they will show up on test day not knowing that they even have a test, and they are put into the easiest classes, which the author describes as business and nutrition type classes. The teachers try to motivate their students as much as possible, but that is hard to do when the teachers know they wont be going anywhere after high school. The parents are also less motivated when it comes to their children in the working class. They still care about their child's education, but they have no knowledge of SAT prep, college prep and how applications work for college. They also can't afford the years of college it takes to get a good degree so they send their children to junior college thinking it is the same thing, but its not.

The author does a good job presenting her points. The author provides direct quotes and conversations from the chicas. I liked how the author also interviewed the teachers too to get their prospective on things. It gives two sides to the story. Many of the things both the teacher and the students say match up so you can see the similarities. The author also shows the relationship the parents have with the students and where the parents push the students. The students are pushed into whatever the parents had previously done but are held to a higher level of achievement. I only got to read a small section of the book, so I think the author has much more to say about the other classes, which was the only hole I saw.

I think some students need the vocational track, just so they can have a high school degree instead of dropping out. I don't think that the tracks should be determined by racial or class status. I could see many latinos in my old high school on the vocational track because that is where the advisor told them to go. I know this because I played soccer with them. Luckily for them we had an excellent vocational track because our auto and welding classes were top in the state, but other schools are not as fortunate. I would like to see more stories like the one presented in the reading of the girl who joined the MESA student group. She was put on a higher track because of it and now she is applying for a 4 year college.

"It might have meant that for boys... but for girls, a high school education does not guarantee economic security."    

This quote is describing the jobs men are more likely to get with only a college degree than women are. Warehouse and heavy lifting jobs are in high demand and are mostly held by men. These jobs only require a high school degree. Jobs women can get are generally retail and childcare. These jobs are not as high of demand and pay less. This has been true ever since the industrial revolution. I feel like this describes our working class society today, and it is not fair towards women. Many women are forced to work two jobs just to support a family. I do not have a solution to this problem but in needs to be addressed.  

Social Class and the Hidden Curriculum of Work Reading Response

In the executive elite schools, it is a much different teaching style then lower caliber schools. They focus on peer to peer learning and looking past the question. For example, in history the teacher would ask questions such as "What mistakes did the citizens of Athens make?" This forces students to develop a hypothesis, not just memorize a bunch of facts. They do this with almost every subject, and it seems to work looking at where the students end up in life. The students were given so much freedom when answering questions, sometimes the room would get boisterous and the teacher would have to fight for control of the room. Overall I think this is the best way to teach children at all levels.

I think the author did a very good job in his research and conclusions. He separated the schools based on obvious class. I noticed that he seemed to think the children in the executive elite school were ruder and more bossy. I think at the age he was reviewing shows leadership. He did a very good job at paying attention to the little things too like how the 5th grade students would come in early to read or catchup. I don't even see this in some high school students. I think he should have gone to more schools. It seems like he only went to one of each of the classes schools. He could have gone to multiple elite executive schools to see if there were any differences. Other then that I think the author did a very good job in his research.

I definitely agree with the author. I was a little skeptical before reading the article, but after reading it I can definitely see similarities. You can see what the teacher is leading the students to become. They focus on leadership and critical thinking for the position in a job similar to their parents. School is where most kids find their identity. When teachers lead the students in a path of leadership, the students will tend to follow that path.

"You must control yourself," "you are responsible for your work," you must "set your own priorities."

I picked the line above because it shows exactly what the school is following. The students are given extreme freedom. They are allowed to leave the room as they please and take supplies as they need. This was much different from my school in 5th grade. We always had to raise our hand and ask the teacher before we did anything. The teachers at the executive school push the students to think for themselves. The schedules are so tight at the school they need to work the entire time they are allotted to complete their assignments in time. I would have loved to go this school because I am responsible and I think I would do very well in this type of learning environment. I like to think out problems the way they do and I like freedom. I think I would have done much better in high school if I had this type of instruction in elementary and middle school.

  
 

Writing History Response Questions

What was a helpful piece of advice you received? Explain

I found out in my paper that a focused more on the cause, not the effect of things. I did not go into much detail on how all of it shaped me into the writer I am today as I should have. I need to show what I believe in the subject of writing and how I got to the point I am at today.

What was the least helpful advice you received? Explain

I think if I expanded on every comment made about my paper I would have about a 4 or 5 page paper. The question that kept popping up was "What does this suggest you believe about writing?" I'm still not completely sure what this means, but I am guessing it means to expand on my thoughts.

What questions do you have about Megan's comments?

I have questions on how to expand on some of the thoughts in my paper. Like in comment [MF 13] it is basically telling me to add another paragraph. I don't know what else to write about. I have never really thought about my writing timeline ever before, but it is an interesting topic. I will probably see Megan in person for some of these questions.

What are your plans for revision?

The first thing I will do is put my name on my paper and change the format to MLA specifications. Next I will expand on all the comments "What does this suggest you believe about writing?". I will also explain more the effect and how, not just the cause and what. I will completely delete my 2nd to last paragraph, as it has nothing to do with my past writing history. I will also make some of the aspects of the paper easier to read and understand instead of expecting the reader to know everything about my life and add the connections together.